Today I bought flowers to put on Ben's grave. Shouldn't it be the other way around? Shouldn't he be buying flowers for me for our anniversary?
Today is our 8 year anniversary. We were married June 20, 2001. I decided to change my thinking a little to make it through the day. Instead of thinking about all the things we were cheated I thought about all that is yet to come. (It was still a little hard to not think about where we would be and what we would be doing if he was still here!) Even though we didn't get to experience everything we wanted to in this life, I know that we will have eternity to spend together. I try to remind myself that we really only are apart for a brief moment - but man, it seems like forever to me!
I need to thank Chris and Kerri for keeping me busy today. I had planned to be out of town for this rough week but the plans fell through. I think I was probably meant to stay home and spend time with my sis and Chris. I really had a great time - but then again we always do have a fun time together. We did some father's day shopping, went to a movie, to dinner, and then back to their house for some wii.
THANKS CHRIS AND KERRI FOR EVERYTHING!
This week I also hit the three year mark from the day Ben was diagnosed. Man, it was a hard day - but again I tried to stay positive. When I woke up on Tuesday morning I remembered exactly how I felt the day I was told Ben was dying. I felt like my life was ending right along with Ben's. How could I possibly live without him? But now that some time has passed, I realize my life didn't end, it just switched directions. I really didn't think that I would make it, but I have and I will. The time Ben and I shared the nine weeks he lived after being diagnosed was so special. We were able to talk about things in such a different way because we knew he was leaving me. I think the time we shared helped prepare me for what was to come. I promised him I would be okay even though I didn't know if I could keep that promise. I will always cherish the days I had with Ben, especially the last few days when our loved seemed to grow every second! In fact, I think my love for him still grows as I look forward to spending eternity with him.
5 comments:
Kamie, I've been thinking about you this weekend. Just want you to know I think you are one tough cookie! Sorry, you had such a hard week, but I'm pretty sure Ben was watching over you the whole time. Sure love ya, Kam!
It wasn't really hard, just really tender. The feelings come so close this time of year. The summer has such sweet memories.
Thanks for your friendship Melissa. I sure wouldn't be where I am today without wonderful friends like you!
Kam you are such an amazing woman! I so wish things would of been different this past week so we could of been together. Know that I am thinking about you and loving you from here.
Kamie, What a great attitude you have. You are stronger than you know and I think you are doing so great!
I love the page you did. Yes we will be with Ben FOREVER. I just want you to know that I love you.
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